Since I returned from Singapore, it has been more than a month. During the month, I took time off to recuperate, spending couple time with Jeroen (not seeing one another for 2 months is a torture), a short trip to Germany and commenced my gardening project. I adjusted back to the weather, temperature, environment, language, culture, people and food.
The transition between Netherlands to Singapore, Singapore to Netherlands, is not just a flight of long hours and jetlag, but also the physical, emotion, mental as well as spiritual aspect of me. Often than not, there exists a mixed feelings of joy of meeting my family and friends and nervousness of the crowd, noise and pace in my homeland. This return was my longest stay of 3 months. On the whole, it was a fruitful trip, filled with challenges and healing. A precious time reconnecting with my family especially the Chinese New Year reunion dinner, and catching up with a lot of good old friends whom I've not met for many years (thanks to FB), my godmother and godchildren, and I've also made new friends too.
Upon reflection, I'm glad that I've taken the steps to promote dance/movement therapy in Singapore. It gave me a better footing and the flow by running it in my homeland. The experiences I have gained have helped me to grow in my professional field and calling. Each learning experience is valuable. I would like to thank the participants for giving me this opportunity to journey and walk with them in their personal process and growth. I'm touched by them and the greatest joy is to know that I have made a difference in their lives. Needless to say, I have my ups and downs. What I have gained is more than what I can asked for. They give me more than what I've given them. The richness to see their transformation in little ways just made my heart glow with delight. I would relate to how I nurture and observe my baby plant, with the tender loving care, right amount of water, sunlight, fertilizer, touch, sometimes near to check on it, sometime at a distance when it's raining, and watch it blossom on its own to a beautiful vegetable, flower or fruit. Each is special and unique in its own way. It's a blessings and a gift to be able to be involved and to be a part in it.
It was a great start and gave me the confidence to move on. However, nearing the days to return to Netherlands has in fact created some anxiety in me. I recognised it and there's this resistance of not wanting to return even though I miss Jeroen. I reflected and discovered that I've to face another challenge of having to set up my private practice in Netherlands. Though I've been staying there for coming to 5 years, I'm still very unfamiliar with the system and also the feeling that I'm at a losing end. The language is still a great barrier and an obstacles that I am still struggling with. I had a good talk with Jeroen over the phone and sort out my feelings before I headed back, my second home. I listen to myself by taking time off, doing some reflection, enjoying the things I love to do before I continue my plans for the future. The process of embody my feelings and giving myself time and space led me to answers on what to do next.
I'm once again energised, inspired, excited about my passion and dreams not only as a therapist but as a writer. The positive energy is a stepping stone to continue and fulfil my desired dreams. I have a good talk and discussion with Jeroen about my dream, his dream, our dreams and plans. We just take one step at a time and work towards our goals and when we need to adjust when something crops up, we move accordingly. I thank Jeroen for his support and encouragement and for always believing in me.
To be on the practical side, I'm going to list down the things to do, what I want to do, and set priority to achieve it. Not forgetting, to allow time, space, to grow, to breathe, to enjoy, and a balance in every aspects of life, taking into account by listening to my body, emotion, mind and spirit.
I'm ready to fight the good fight, be refined in the fire, with faith and trust in God, He will bring me to a greater height with His wisdom, guidance and love, where ever He wants, I will follow Him. ; )
